.:Thinking Aloud:.

Alone in this house again tonight I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine There’s pictures of you and I on the walls around me The way that it was and could have been surrounds me I’ll never get over you walkin’ away

(Chorus:)

I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show And I thought that bein’ strong meant never losin’ your self-control But I’m just drunk enough to let go of my pain To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain From my eyes Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on "All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you’re gone Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters It’s gonna hurt bad before it gets better But I’ll never get over you by hidin’ this way

I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show And I thought that bein’ strong meant never losin’ your self-control But I’m just drunk enough to let go of my pain To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain From my eyes Tonight I wanna cry I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show And I thought that bein’ strong meant never losin’ your self-control But I’m just drunk enough to let go of my pain To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain From my eyes Tonight I wanna cry

***What DON JEREMIAH PAOLO Means***

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed… even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don’t have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you’ll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you… especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You’re a strong person.

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people’s problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don’t get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

Hi guys… I’m back… its been a while since I last posted on this blog and now since I seem to have a lot of time to spare that I decided to revive this blog… I was suppose to continue blogging on multiply but it seems that I cannot blog here in the office using multiply so here I am…

Anyway, I’m at a new work now… I officially resigned in my previous work and is now working as a systems analyst on one of the Call Centers here in makati. Well so far I’m doing nothing so here I am blogging away…

Well what to share? well the past posts have been all about lyrics, songs, and basically rants… I would like to make this blog a diverse one so i might have to post some articles that might be a bit technical or personal… I might still have some rants left… but what the heck… lolz… anyway, that’s all for now folks and I’ll post my next article as soon as something worthy of posting comes up… I might post about my 1st week here of work… watch out for that… ^_^ v

Half Crazy

Freestyle

Know I havent slept a week at all
Since you’ve been gone
And my eyes are kinda tired
From crying all night long
Know I’ve never been too good at cooking just for one
It’s so lonely here without you darling
Come back home

‘Cause I’m half crazy
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you’d find someone else to love

Know life hasnt been much fun at all
Since you’ve been gone
And my eyes being to feel
Each time I hear a sound
I spent every minute asking myself
What went wrong
Can’t we try to talk it over baby
Come back home

‘Cause I’m half crazy
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you’d find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could love you like I do

‘Cause I’m half crazy
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you’d find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could ever love you
No one else could ever be

Half crazy
Feeling sorry for myself
And I’m worried you’ll find someone else
Feeling sorry for myself
Half crazy

hmmm… cant think of a title for this blog… just want to share to you through writting several things i’ve been thinkin and doin in this past few weeks… bear with me since a lot of thoughts have been flying around and this might not sound coherent at all hehehe..

Well first stop Time Spiral Pre-release… well I’m a magic the gathering player… and i joined the pre-release last Sept 23 at Robinsons Galleria, it was a nice event with all the players and to top it all we broke the record for most number of attendees on a single day… (asian ata or philippine record lng nman) as well as the most number of female participants in a tournament…well nothing much to say but i did finished with a record of 1-3, all i can say is RTFC! (read the f*ckin card!)hehehe…

then came chaos, chaos in a form of the "Milenyo Bug(yo)" oh well… it seemed like it struck and lashed its fury here in Metro Manila, well living in makati i felt a bit secured but it was then the lights went out… DAMN! i thought… i didn’t went to the office since there were alot of debris and other stuff flying around and trees just kept on lashing and falling apart… besides the worst traffic ever, i never did expected to walk to work with this hard wind… (i might end up in the land of oz if ever…)  also i got to evacuate of our room since our roof has leaks in it and that my bed was in the path of bein wet by the rain… oh well, i transferred to my officemate’s room luckily his girlfriend was around since i had no place to stay… when the winds had calmed a bit we decided that we needed supplies and went to shop in the grocery in landmark… heck we even met some of our officemates… as we were walking we could see the devastation that the winds caused like uprooted trees, shattered glass all over, broken signages, fallen billboards and a lot of stranded people…

the day after that the storm has passed away and still no electricity… oh well what the heck off to the office… another day in the office and then it was just last monday morning that we had light…

oh well, during the storm i’ve been thinking… i talked with some of my officemates and it seemed like they were not at all bein taken care of by our company… i was deployed so i had no problems except for some that i’ll mention a bit later… amidst the storm our officemates were dismissed early, but our CEO gathered some of them just to promote our "referral incentive program" when i heard that, i thought WTF! its raining and there are people here stranded and all he could think of is the referral incentive program… he didn’t even asked for the welfare of his employees on how will they go home… luckily our Senior Project Manager was kind enough to provide our officemates a ride to Ayala/Buendia in 2 batches… oh well, i thought did i do the right decision? i mean i had an offer before to another company that is offering me a nice sum of compensation compared to what im recieving and i turned it down… i was thinkin during that time that i need a better one… since i wanted this next one to be somewhere i’ll grow and stick to it for quite a longer time because i wanted to… but im here in our company, luckily im deployed to another company and i seemed to like it there… out from all the hassles in the office…

then came today, actually today started out a bit boring… having another exam tomorrow, i’ll try to review my basics before i go to sleep… well nothing much happened today except for our General Assembly in the office… practically i went to our new office in the FORT… nothing much, indeed it was a bit bigger but still it felt a bit crowded, considering were now only less than 30 devs and qa… including those resigned but are still there… (yes i did a head count hopefully i didnt missed anyone… hehehe…)  i listened to the things they discussed and what’s in the pipeline but there is somthing wrong… it seemed like another here we go again… it was fortunate that there are some senior developers who seem to voice out our concerns to them… but not all (i think)

well i got my turn it seems like my account in the office was locked out… so i got to speak with my senior project manager about it and a lot of concerns since a lot of things were quite unclear when i was deployed… what the heck… i also mentioned that if the company continues bein like that to its employees then they’ll lose a lot of good people and end up with less than 20 people by december… he seemed to understand and hopefully things would change…

oh i thought up of the title of this blog… i entitled it as such since a lot of people has been saying this but doing otherwise… including me… but as a lot of people has been quoting "Life is simple, you make choices and never look back" from Tokyo Drift… it occured to me that all bein said and done will just have to accept its outcome and hopefully we make better choices in the future…

"Don’t Love You No More (I’m Sorry)"

by: Craig David

[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I’ve known you baby
I can’t figure out the reason why lately you’ve been acting so cold
(didn’t you say)
If there’s a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don’t even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(I wanna know)
I’m sick and tired of this silly game
(silly games)
Don’t think that I’m the only one here to blame
It’s not me here who’s been going round slamming doors
That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I’m sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it’s, too late, to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I’m missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I’m sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it’s, too late, to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

[BRIDGE]
Don’t say those words it’s so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don’t love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I’m sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it’s, too late, to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

yes, its my special day today… no one wonders why does it really matter… anyway thanks to those who remembered in a way… for those who didn’t well its ok… hehe… who bothers to remember this things anyway… its fun to know that another year in your life passed by and as it does you tend to look back on how did the previous year became… (well folks i dnt do this every new year hehehe…) its been a hard year for me… all the hardships, troubles, heartaches and sadness has been there… but there were also times of joy, satisfaction and changes… i didn’t regret bein a part of them all but still seeing that most of them are not so good made me think even more on what must be changed, and what should i do to turn things around this year… anyway a new year, a new chapter, a new life… will blog again later today to update on what happened within the day… ^_^ V

i just found myself another comfort drink! or should i say another drink that i would need to relieve me of all sleepy days in my life… hehehe… a jolt of caffeine that will keep me awake for hours… its starbucks iced caramel machiatto w/ irish cream… (did i spell that right???) yup! it keeps me awake in the morning… im an insomiac so mornings are not my time of the day… this is the time where im most sleepy hehehe…

well, as my title says im about to change my ways… well, its nearing my birthday and it seems that this one will be a sad one for me… sad? why do you ask… well i usually spend my bdays alone since i stepped into college… (yeah i know… pathetic… hehehe…)  i’ve already treated myself before my birthday… seems all plans from last year did not came true which made it much sadder… its just that, i hope that i could do what i wanted to do and not be the impromptu guy that im am now… and hopefully as i turn of age again i hope that i can change this time… and for the better…

the previous plan was to get out of the country or town for a 3 day outing all by myself… i need serious soul-searching hehehe… anyway will continue this blog tomorrow my eyes are getting droopy and i need a nap…

im back here again… its  been quite a busy time… and since friendster is not as accessible for me (yes, it blocked in my office!) so i was thinking of moving to another accessible blog site so that if ever i get free time in the office (i know that’s rare!)  but what the heck… if its accessible in the office i could upload pictures, update a lot, and even make it even better…  well the hunt is on, for the next blogsite for me… but for now i ‘ve got to share things here… don’t wori i might re-upload all made articles here to there and vice-versa if ever… hehe… its just that its a tad hard to think of any article subjects… mostly its love… but as for now im thinking of putting a bit more of what i think into the articles… and that i’ll have abit more of different topics in here… well not much time here… so ill sign off for now and be back as soon as i finish another article…

I was reading some of my friends’ blogsites when I came about a friend’s topic… “The gift of being single”… it was a good article that it has lead me to this post as well. Yes, I have been single for quite sometime now I didn’t know why but it seems that I’m still not over with my past relationship that I still couldn’t move on… or maybe I’m just enjoying the fact that I am single… and its not at all bad so it seems, for once you get this sense of freedom in being not committed to anyone as of the moment…

Well being single isn’t all good and isn’t all bad… After reading the da vinci code, it always occurred to me that there is this concept of duality that there is always two sides of a coin… as I’ve said to my friends whenever I give them advice, its just a matter of perspective… whether to see it in one point and never consider the possibility that there is another side to it is simply your freedom to believe in it so… I was supposed to give this blog the title of “the gift and curse of being single” which is to follow my friend’s argument… but come to think of it, I chose to give it a much milder and a bit of opinionated title hence the title “The PROS and CONS of being single” is shared to all…

I must admit, there are a lot of good things you can see whenever you are single… Absolutely no hang-ups, no love problems, no things to think about, and to top all of it all, no commitment… It has been pure sheer fun… the thought that you could flirt with almost anyone you like without the guilt and burden of hurting someone has been surely a positive insight of being single… you could go out with anyone, anywhere without asking for permission from anyone except maybe your parents…

From the article of my friend, she mentioned the gifts of being single, and here I quote her on the following points:

“The Art of Contentment. For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment. Someday, I’m sure most of us will fall in love and get married.

But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more handsome, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosen one. Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you’re willing to see it through. It means you don’t walk away every time things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance,
understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have. Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn’t mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.

A Time to Know Yourself Better. Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interests and passions without having to ask another person’s approval. It is a phase when you can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself to surprise you. Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you’re still romantically unattached. It’s all in the mind.

Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, was alone. Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people. To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are. How do you expect other people to know you and to love you, when you don’t know who and what you really are?

A Choice between Good and Best. Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it’s between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. 

Almost a Non-committal. Jane Austen once wrote, that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man (or in our times a woman), in possession of a good fortune is in search of a spouse (just to be politically correct). Well, that was what the old school wanted us to believe in. Married life is a path most of us would take, however, it is not the only path there is. Relieve yourself of the pressure and stop making every single, straight guy friend a prospect. You have no business "entrapping" them and asking (which is more like "putting a gun in the head") them of their exclusive attention, if you’re not ready for commitment
yourself. Sometimes, when you spend too much time trying to find a boyfriend, you normally end us marrying the first loser who comes to your door.

Take your time, the world will wait. Being married doesn’t guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn’t guarantee anything at all.

Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable. Without the right intention, the emotional maturity, financial security and of course, unwavering love, you’re better off unattached.

Living Life. Don’t put your life on hold for Mr/Ms. Right but don’t let it waste away with Mr./Ms Wrong. Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It’s not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future. Live life now.”

After reading her post and examining my bachelorhood it has transpired to me that the thought has often struck me that enjoying me being single isn’t at all enjoyable anymore for quite sometime… Its not that I came from a bad relationship… its just that she’s migrating to another country and that we both agreed that we couldn’t continue having this relationship if we’re miles apart… It has been quite sometime now… We had a very lax relationship… she could go out with anyone she wanted to and I the same, given we should be honest enough to tell her who am I with or where are we going… we barely see each other also, well, maybe due to work constraints and it seems that some of our friends are even asking if we’re still together… and I think that this is also one of the reasons why we both agreed to end it when she left… yes, I enjoy the freedom I’m having now but I often miss those days when I could be contented to relax in her arms and just stare at her… the days when we go to church together and spend time together… there is a feeling of security that whatever happens there is someone who will catch you or will be by your side… Being in a relationship has also its perks I must admit… Unlike being single you can always have this sense of assurance that there is someone there who is caring for you and is by your side on those critical moments of your life… of course being in a relationship as I heard from somewhere is a friendship on fire… it’s is different from the love you give your friends, family and companions… its something more than that…

But after all this argument, I still chose to become single as of the moment and to enjoy single life to the fullest, I may not be ready for another relationship for now… but when the time comes that my heart could go out of hibernation and love once more… I know that I could say that I’m ready… so for all those single people who are still waiting and are trying or is in a hurry to find love… love isn’t sought out… heck enjoy life being single for now… For being single isn’t at all that bad… trust me… I am single after all… =)